“It’s just a breakup man. It is not the end of the world!”
This is what a lot of people have heard over the course of their lives. “Of course it is just a breakup and is not the end of the world, but it is the end of my world – the world that I have built up over the past couple of months or years, the world that could have been!”
People get into relationships and sadly a lot of them do not end up well. Breakups happen and it is as the name says – heartbreaking. People die because of the sadness caused by the breakup. The thing is, as many people say – it is not the end of the world. It feels like the end of the world but in reality, it is not. However, it is hard to get over this breakup as well. After all, how can you get over something that literally shattered all of your dreams and future plans as well? How can you get over the loss of a person from your life?
The good news is that it is possible- hard but possible. Which is what I am here to guide you on. Yes, this random voice on the internet is going to tell you how to get over a breakup. Not unheard of – I admit but hard to apply. But what if I add in my experience of How I got My break up? Would you be willing to listen? Yes? Then we shall continue.
Step 1- Accept the Breakup
Sometimes the truth is hard to accept, reality seems darker than fiction. I mean, how can you accept the fact that someone just left you and decided to move on? It is hard but you don’t have any other option.
It took me literally a year before I accepted that I got dumped, in all honesty. But the longer I denied that I was separated from her, the harder the pain became. Seeing her with other guys was heartbreaking but I could not do anything either as we had broken up. When the reality set in it hit me hard. I thought that if I had accepted this sooner, I might not have destroyed myself for the past year.
So, my friends, this is the first thing that you have to do. Don’t think of any reasons why they broke up with you – that comes later, but just accept that you are not in their lives anymore. You can cry and shed tears, write or vent out to someone else, in the end, nothing will happen if you still deny that the relationship has ended.
Step 2- Seek Distractions
Now you know that you have broken up with them, you have accepted this fact but then again, accepting that you have broken up and coming to terms with this is a completely different thing. And it will take a long while before you finally come to terms with your breakup. So until then find something to get involved in. It can be anything as long as you are interested in that thing!
Now admittedly it can also be hard to get involved in anything in this phase. After all, the sky feels gloomy and the world feels dark. But hey, you do still want to write or watch that movie that you had planned a long time ago or heck, even go somewhere- which you haven’t been able to because you were in a relationship. Do that.
For me, it was reading books. I had a pile of books waiting to be read but I had been keeping them on hold because I wanted to and loved to spend my time with her. But when it all came crashing down, I binged on these books. There was a book about love too and when I read that book, I cried.
My point is, do something that will keep the thoughts of him/her off your mind. It is not entirely possible but each second that s/he is not on your mind is a second that you progress. This is your first step to move on from that person.
Step 3- Change the Routine
What did you do as soon as you woke up you were still in a relationship? Check your phone? Well change that and do something else. The reason for this is that as long as you do the same things that you used to do, you will be in the absence of that person.
You have a routine in your lifestyle, regardless of how random it is and a breakup disrupts that, after a breakup, you will be missing a huge chunk from that routine. Why should you follow the same rhythm after you miss a chunk? Make a routine that is entirely based on you and you alone. After all, this is your life and the first time in a long time that you are in complete control of what you do, well for the most part anyway.
Change what you used to wear, it may be as small as the color of the shirt that you mostly used to wear. Change the path from where you go to school/work. As long as these things don’t have their memory attached to them, it will work great. You see sometimes the pain does not come from the person who broke up with you but from the feelings that some places hold because of that person.
Step 4- Give Others a Chance!
Now it may feel like s/he was your entire world and no one can care for you as much as him/her. But people often get tunnel vision when they are in love. Take this from a guy who ignored 2 other girls who genuinely cared for me when I was in that relationship but was too slow to realize that. By the time I realized it, it was too late and they had found someone special for themselves.
My point is, other people may be genuinely caring for you, sometimes even more than the person you are/were in love with. Once you have accepted the fact that you have had a breakup and sought distractions and gotten involved in them and changed your routine, you will slowly start to notice the people who want to get close to you. Although you may not feel like letting them close, do it for they might just be the one for you.
Admittedly getting over the breakup is neither an easy nor a quick process but you can do it and you should do it. For some, it may take a few months and for some, it may take a few years but unless you want to get over that broken relationship, you can’t.
The first and foremost thing is that you should want to get over the breakup. As it is said “relationship is like a glass, if broken it can be hard to fix and harder not to hurt unless you are willing to put in some serious effort or sweep it aside”