Divorce used to be a rare thing in the past but with the rise of modernization, the rate of divorce is also rising steadily. This is not only the case for the foreign countries but also for Nepal as well. The rate of divorce has been rising steadily over the past 20 years in Nepal as well. But what most people don’t know is why do people divorce.
When we talk about the reasons for divorce the first thing people think of is adultery which in simple terms is “cheating”. This is in fact one of the most common reasons for divorce but this is not the only reason behind the divorce. In this list, we will be talking about 10 common reasons behind the divorce.
Note that this list is not in any specific order and the reasons here are not listed in any ranking system.
Adultery is the event when a person either has a romantic or sexual relationship with another person when s/he is already in a romantic or marital relationship or in simple words this is an event when a person cheats on their significant partner. This is among the most common reason behind divorce in the world.
Why people commit adultery depends on each person. Sometimes the person may have some issues with the partner and sometimes people cheat just because they don’t value their relationship or sometimes people who cheat are mentally disturbed.
Regardless of the reason, people cheat, it is not a good nor a moral thing to do. If the situation is not working out one should try to solve whatever is the issue and if it can’t be done, one should just break it off and start afresh. And that is where divorce comes in. When a married couple finally decides that their relationship is not working out and they see no future ahead because one of them cheated or keeps on cheating, they file for divorce.
2. Abusive/Toxic Relationship
No one likes to be in an abusive relationship. We don’t like to be in conflict with the person we love but just because we don’t want conflict does not mean that everyone wants the same thing. There are and always will be some people who love to abuse other people and when they get into a marital relationship these types of people just get a free pass. With that being said abuse doesn’t always have to be physical as it can be emotional as well.
Some examples of emotional abuse are guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, playing the blame game, etc. The thing about abusive relationships is that people often like to hide this due to various reasons but the most common reason is the fear of even greater abuse. In the case of emotional abuse, many people don’t even know that they are being abused. The thing is once a person realizes that they are in an abusive relationship and files for divorce there is virtually no chance of reconciliation.
3. Loss in Intimacy
The sad truth about humans is that we more often lose our intimate feelings for people. While in most cases this is not an issue, in marriage this is a huge one. If we can’t feel intimate with the person we are supposed to be together for our whole life, then our life will no doubt go stale and the marriage will be just a binding contract for two people. While the thing that we can lose intimacy with our partner is sad indeed the sadder thing is that sometimes there is no reason for the loss of intimacy.
This does not mean that loss of intimacy always ends in divorce as a couple can still lack intimacy and be happy but if this happens in a young couple, the majority of the marriages always end up with a divorce. A lot of people who do file divorce due to the loss of intimacy be it mutual or non-mutual justify their divorce by saying that since both of them are young staying in a marriage with affection will make both of their lives tasteless and can hamper their progress in life so it is better to end it early when no harm is done and find someone who will make their lives tasteful and worth living.
The good thing is that divorce that happens due to the loss of intimacy rarely creates a face as the majority of divorces that happen due to this reason are mutual and are done to free the people from the legal bind of marriage
4. Financial Instability
The world of money is a complicated one but the one thing people can agree on about money is that the financial status of people can change at any time. As much as people say that all they need is love when one is married, money and financial stability matter a lot as you not only have yourself to take care of but your spouse and possibly children as well. When money becomes scarce it will indeed be hard for a couple to be happy as they will be focusing on how to make their financial status most of the time this can result in the loss of intimacy as well.
This is not always the case however and sometimes financial instability can strengthen the relationship more often than not rather than being the cause of the end of relationships and marriages. Now when couples file divorce due to financial instability it can be both mutual and one-sided. In the case of a mutual divorce, the couple may still be in love with each other but just not financially able to support their marriage.
In movies we are often shown about a couple where one is a drug addict and the other one helps them to overcome their addiction. While this is certainly possible and we have a lot of real life cases of this happening, a lot of marriages where one of the couple is an addict end up in divorce.
The scenario shown in the movies is the best-case scenario that can happen. Now one has to know that living with an addict is not an easy task. The addict will seek for their hit in one way or another. The only thing that they think of is the next hit of their drug and they can do anything for that which includes stealing, lying, and even robbing.
Keeping that aside, for now, addictions do not always have to be of illicit drugs and can be of something as simple as smoking and caffeine. In these cases, it is easy to manage but if one constantly keeps on smoking or drinking coffee, it becomes significantly hard for the other one to adjust to their lifestyle. Any form of addiction is bad especially when they have been addicted for a long time. If a couple cannot get rid of or manage addiction they will inevitably get a divorce.
All in all, divorce is a complicated process and there are as many reasons for it as there are people on earth as this is purely a personnel decision and we cannot record or know every reason but the ones we mentioned are among the most common reasons behind it. We should however note that sometimes couples can survive even the toughest of the situations without a divorce and sometimes even the silliest of the reasons is enough for one. It all depends on whether or not both the members in a relationship are willing to make the effort as well as the situation which the couple is in.
With all being said it is hard to know if we are in a toxic relationship or not but if you want to know this you can check out when we ask ourselves this question “Are You in a Toxic Relationship?” and see the signs of it as well as how to get out of it by learning “How can You say “No!” to Things You Don’t Want To ?“.