“AHHH! I AM SO ANGRY I CAN BREAK THAT WALL!”
Have you ever thought like this? We bet that you have. Don’t worry if you have thought like that for you are not the only one. We have thought like that as well, in fact, everyone probably has thought like that at some point in our lives. After all, anger is a part of our daily lives.
But is it really healthy to feel angry? Surprisingly yes. It is healthy. Anger is your mind’s way of telling you that things are not going right or at the very least- now how you want it to go.
But sometimes anger can lead us to do things that we regret later on- like breaking your phone when it gets stuck for example. Anger is healthy but things that we do when we are angry are destructive – for the most part anyway. How can you manage it though? Well, we are here just to tell you that.
We are here to show you that sometimes controlling your anger is easier than it seems, with the opinion from our friend who is “annoyed all the time” or so he says. Oh, you want to suppress it? How long can you hold it back? Instead of doing that, why don’t you deal with your anger?
How can you do that? Well, you can take deep breaths for that.
1. Take a deep breath
And this is what you should do first. Take a deep breath. “I know I know, tell me something more” But do you? How often do you take deep breaths when you are angry? After all, taking deep breaths takes conscious thought and when we are angry, we forget to think.
More often than not we know that something will trigger us and make us angry before we get angry. It is like our brain warns us of impending danger. As soon as you feel that slight hint, start to take deep breaths. Breathe in slowly and out slowly.
This will give you time to clear your head and think for a split second before the anger strikes. That split second is all you need sometimes as you can either stop that annoying thing or escape from that place.
2 “54321” grounding technique
“So you take deep breaths but you still get angry. What about then?” Well, the good news is that you will still be able to think better than if you did not take deep breaths. The bad news is that it will take a few extra steps to calm down if this happens.
First things first though, try to get away from the source of the anger- be it a person or a thing. But sometimes getting away is not really an option and this is why this technique exists. This is in all honesty a method to calm down anxiety but it works for anger as well.
The first thing you have to do is breathe deeply. After doing that remember to
- Count 5 things that you see
- See 4 things that you can touch
- Notice 3 things that you can hear
- Count 2 things that you can smell
- And remember 1 thing that you can taste.
Now, these things do not have to be any specific things. As long as you take a mental note of them, things should be fine.
What this does is break reality and takes you to a special place where only the things that you take note of exists. When breathing you can’t calm yourself down, this is just what you need.
3. Clench and release method
This is one of the simplest and dumbest sounding methods in all honesty but at the same time, this is also one of the more versatile of the methods that one can use. All you have to do is, clench your fists as hard as you and strain your arm muscles. Hold it for a while and then slowly release the clench. That’s all there is to this method.
Now you may be wondering how this works right? The simple reasoning for that is when you clench your fists, you put a strain on your muscles, and when you release the clench it relaxes your muscles. While relaxing your muscles your body will produce a feeling of relief and that is what we are after.
Now combine this feeling of relief with the small window of thinking from breathing and repeat the process a few times. This will give you just the window you need to hold on to for a few more minutes until you can get out of that situation and away from that thing or person.
“Clenching fists is a muscle workout but it is not enough to dissolve all your anger” our friend who is “annoyed all the time,” said to us. What is better than working out just a small part of your body by clenching fists? It is the whole body workout.
The principle on how this deals with your anger is the same as the one where you clench your fists and then let them relax. Working your body out stresses your body and after you are done with the work out the feeling of relaxation washes out most of the anger. Along with this, your body releases hormones that calms you down as well.
The side benefit is that you will get exhausted and might fall asleep – especially good for you when you are at home- and that you will get in a tiny bit better shape after each workout. This is especially good for those who feel annoyed a lot and get angry over small things and work from home or at home most of the time. It will save a lot of things from getting destroyed.
Now you don’t need any specific workout for this and any general ones would work. There are a few ones that are better than the rest though and they are crouches, push-ups, squats, and planks. These will tire you better and are overall a good workout exercise. The side benefit, you will feel yourself look a bit more handsome/prettier when you look into the mirror after these sessions.
5. Walk Away
So you are in the streets and something you see pisses you off or a friend is annoying you to the core. What do you do? You walk away. This will not only shock them but also be a workout for you. In all seriousness though, what we mean by “run” is to get out of those situations that make you angry.
Anger has a trigger and is usually triggered by things that we don’t like or are offensive. If we get away from the trigger, we will have time to think and do any of the methods that we have mentioned before.
This is basically to get away from the source of your anger and take a breather. You can return if you have to, for as an adult, you most probably are in a situation that you cannot avoid when you get angry. If you can, however, stay away from that trigger as long as you need to calm down. The theory behind this technique is the same as the saying “If you get away from the rain, you won’t get wet”.
Taking all that we have said into consideration, we know that anger is a natural part of our lives and it is unavoidable. People will annoy you and things will make you angry but how you deal with that anger is entirely up to you. The methods that we have mentioned here are tried and tested by many and works for the most part.
We say “works for the most part” because people have different reactions and different levels of anger and as with everything related to the mind and emotions, no one can say anything for sure.
The general gist however is if you try to get out of the immediate situation be it by walking off or by using the “54321” technique to break the reality you can control yourself to some extent. Along with this breathing and giving your mind some time to think along with putting your muscles in a bit of strain will also help you think a bit clearer and resist the destructive urges.