Yes it is time to discuss this topic again. We all know good relationships are needed to have a happy life. We are humans after all and humans are social creatures. Regardless of how antisocial or introverted you are, you need to have a stable relationship to keep you sane. A human needs at least one human to be his/her support. But in the process of building relationships we also tend to build some toxic relationships along the way. The thing with these types of relationship is that we do not know that it exists for the most part until we really think about it. Here are some ways to know if the relationships that you have is toxic or not
1. Lots of conflicts
Conflicts are a normal part of a relationship. They are needed to make a healthy relationship. As I said, conflicts are needed but these conflicts also need to be either forgiven or ignored. If you face more conflicts and have more arguments than you can forgive or forget then it is a sign of you being in a toxic relationship.
2. Power Imbalance.
Relationships are not as smooth as you think. There has to be a balance of power in a relationship. To put this simply, both of you need to have an equal say in things. You have to be able to make decisions for yourself and your friend/love. If all you do is follow and are not given a chance to speak or make decisions, then it is a toxic relationship. Your partner shows no respect. S/He doesn’t make compromises and doesn’t allow you to express properly. If this happens a lot, then it’s time to have a talk. But what if your partner doesn’t allow that talk or plays the blame game? My suggestion is to move out of that relationship. It is toxic.
3. Loss of emotions
Why do we form a relationship? It is for the feelings, right? What happens if there are no feelings left? The answer to that is, the relationship will be meaningless. By the point when there are no feelings or emotions left in the relationship, all that will happen is two people will try to use each other by using a past feeling. This is when the loss of emotion is mutual. But what if the loss of feeling is not mutual and only one person losses it? Then it becomes a toxic relationship where one person is giving his/her all and the other one is just using him/her for convenience. If you feel like this is what has been happening in your relationship, then it is time to have a talk or better yet, just walk away.
4. Guilt trips
Sticking to the theme of feelings, here comes the black sheep “The guilt Tripping”. The thing about guilt-tripping is that it is hard to know it is even happening. One person uses emotions as a weapon and takes advantage of others through the means of guilt. “If you don’t do this for me, then my ruin will be your fault!” “It is because you did this that I failed!” “I was late and got scolded because you failed to wake me up!” if any of these sentences sound way too familiar to you, then you are being guilt-tripped way more than is acceptable in a relationship. When you have to take the blame for something that they did, then the relationship has already become toxic.
5. Boundary Violation
Again, we are just humans. Humans have their own private space and boundary where we don’t want other people to step in unless we become self-destructive or destructive in general. Your partner steps over the boundary without the need to step in and then complains about it. it has already become a toxic relationship. The thing is, by the time this happens, s/he will already have increased his/her boundary and you can’t do the same things you used to do before. If you refuse or deny their entrance, they play the blame card, and then guilt trip you. This is a common thing as well so if this has happened to you, walk away.
Additionally, you could also be doing the same thing so be sure you are not the toxic one in your relationship as well.
Also read How to Move On and get over Broken Relationships as well.